While Mom and Dad are gone to god-knows where, I’m staying home with my human brother. Other than the pack break-up part, it’s really pretty cool. We subsist on beer and pizza mostly, though he remembers now and again to add some kibbles to my dish. I’m not old enough to drink beer and I don’t really like it, but I try a lick or two from the end of the bottle because for some reason it makes him laugh.
Big brother thoughtfully leaves all sorts of aromatic socks and underwear scattered about to give me a bit of a nose- focused scavenger hunt. He leaves the lid up on that large dog bowl they keep in the bathroom – very convenient for a quick slurp. He doesn’t holler at me if I decide to take a nap on the couch or run around the house with a throw pillow in my mouth. And, he doesn’t like baths any more than I do, so there’s none of that nonsense to deal with.
On the weekends we sleep in until our bladders are about to burst and then lay on the couch watching humans run around chasing balls on TV (though they are terrible at catching them in their mouths like I do). Sometimes, he throws one for me to chase, too. In fact, sometimes he throws them really hard and stuff gets knocked over, but that just adds an obstacle course to the game.
He’s told me that we will have to pick things up before Mom and Dad come home and that I’m not allowed to tell them anything we’ve been doing.
My lips are sealed.