I watched a very interesting movie last night called Dean Spanley. It was about a man who had been a dog in his previous life. I have to say, the entire concept of reincarnation really gave me something to think about. I do not intend to die, but if I do…. What if I come back as a human?
I’m going to have to start paying closer attention to human behaviors, as well as really focus on dog behaviors that I don’t want to lose. Here’s my top ten list.
- Improve my English. Of course, depending on where I come back, I might need to learn Chinese or Hungarian. But, the point is that I need to try harder to understand what people are saying. Sometimes it just hits my ears as garbled mush.
- Retain my sense of smell. I truly do not know how humans survive in this world with their ineffective noses. When I’m a human, I’m going to take time to savor each and every scent I come across.
- Share in the kill. Whatever I have to eat, I’m going to share it with my pack…. both canine and human. What is the deal with humans and their possessiveness over food anyway?
- Wag more, bark less. Clearly, this bumper sticker was created by a human who was a dog at some point. What’s the point in getting angry when you can just let it go and be happy?
- Doorknobs. This will be perhaps the best part about being human… I can finally figure out that crazy system for opening doors on my own.
- Clothing optional. I think that when I’m human, I’m not going to wear clothes. It seems to slow down any departures from the house and is just an interference when it comes to sniffing greetings.
- Marking territory. I haven’t yet figured out how humans let other ones know what belongs to whom. I’ve never seen mine lift a leg on anything and I can only find my scent markings around our yard. This will require additional investigation.
- Cats. When I’m human, I’m going to have a cat as a pet, so I can chase it any time I want and no one can yell at me. I’ll need to remember, however, not to shake it when I catch the nasty thing, otherwise I’ll need to get a new one each time.
- Playtime. I shall set aside many hours every day to run, chase a ball, roll in the grass, and otherwise just enjoy myself when I am human. Of course, I’ll need to figure out who will throw the ball for me, but I’m sure it can be arranged.
- No more baths! Humans seem unduly focused on baths. When I become one, I am not going to inflict baths on myself or anyone within my care. In fact, if the house I live in has a bathroom (what an unnecessary use of space), it is one doorknob I shall ignore completely.